So today is my second day and I stayed on track and worked out like I told myself I would after work. However, I've gotta say my eating habits aren't as good as they could have been.
Food eaten today:
+2 pieces of toast w. light butter (need to switch to peanut butter, I think)
+Reduced Fat Turkey Bacon Breakfast sandwhich (I didn't take any substantial breakfast to work)
+NAKED coconut milk smoothie
+1/3 of a blueberry scone
For it being 6p, it's a really pitiful variety... the only thing I can blame for that is... well, I don't know what to blame for that, if there's any blame to be given. I got out of work so late that I went straight to bed and woke up and went straight back to work. In terms of prepping things, I think I need to maybe spend some time packing myself snack packs and I have a few ideas that won't break the bank since I'm on a horrendously tight budget:
+Carrot sticks and hummus
+Celery and peanut butter
+Chopped up fruit
+Grape nuts and soy yogurt
Simple and simple and I can prep a couple at a time and use them to eat something-- ANYTHING on those long shifts. I've been making it a point to force myself to prepare a meal these past couple nights... it just sucks coming home and seeing all my leftovers devoured so I have nothing for myself the next day at work. But I will persevere and not let it derail me!
In terms of workouts, I've been doing these 4 videos on youtube for the past couple days and like them so far. I've done 2 sets of each and will ramp it up to 3 sets next week. Works perfectly for me because I just listen to a podcast and do these and I can feel myself making progress a little at a time! I also do a lower back exercise that I didn't find a video for.
Yoga Workout (used as a warm up)
Arm Workout
Droopy butt Workout
Stability ball Workout
As I've learned through reading tons of health shit, building muscle is the first step in burning fat-- because muscle burns fat faster, etc.etc.etc. blahblah. So I think I'm going to just continue to work on these exercises this week, next week ramp up the sets and start throwing in a cardio day every few days to see what's up.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Back on the bandwagon- what'd I miss?
So since my last update 3 years ago, the detox from back then sorta kinda worked. I caved about 3 weeks in... but I did lose 10 lbs for about a month afterward.
As for now, I'm back at the 135ish lbs but I would like to really get back on the ball again. I see a coworker of mine working out 5 times a week since New Years and she's lost at least 15lbs. My boyfriend who lives out of town noticed a huge difference in her- everyone does! She's an inspiration! But for me, it's not the weight anymore. Its the fact that I'm wearing a size 10 and its tight. And needlessly said, it makes me feel bad.
I watched Sex and the City (the first movie) not too long ago and there's a scene where Samantha is shamed about the emotional weight she's gaining and how a tiny, tiny little gut is showing when she visits her friends. This wasn't the first time I saw this movie... but in this particular instance it kind of got to me on two different levels.
1: I wish I had friends who would pull me aside and tell me when I'm looking bad weight-size! Not in a harsh way, of course, but just like, "maybe we should start going to the gym together", etc.
2: What a bad way to treat body image. As soon as NOTHING of a gut shows... "you need to lose weight!"
Either way, I'm well aware of how those two points contradict each other, but there is some truth and valid reasoning behind both. Its all valid in degrees.
Anyway, I've decided to try a new approach and begin blogging again about my weight issues-- and maybe more importantly, SIZE issues. I think I need a revamped perspective on why I think I should lose weight, how I need to lose weight, and why "weight" is a bad term in this entire thing.
[I recently watched a very inspirational video on the dangers of Fat Talk and this falls right into this entire blog~!]
But yes, healthier goals are my new inspiration and I'm vowing to stick to them, one day at a time. Breaking this all down to more manageable goals will help me think and feel better and really change my life!
Goal #1: Become a comfortable, slightly loose size 10 in 3 months.
This is a biggie. I have tons of beautiful clothes that I would love to wear if they weren't so snug! I bought them at various stages... when I was a size 10, when a size 10 wasn't that snug on me, when the item was beautiful and I couldn't pass it up so lemme squeeze into it... I hate this feeling. I want to wear what I own and not just resort to the things in my closet that hide my gut! Plus, it's even just a shopping convenience. Size 10 is still relatively easy to find in stores-- size 12 in stores is definitely not guaranteed.
Goal #2: Stop feeling bad about everything I eat!
Huuuugggeeeeee issue. Everytime I eat something, I can never fully enjoy what it is I consume for fear about the food and fear about what it's going to do to me, even if I know I should enjoy it. Putting aside portion control (I admit I really haven't ever had issues of stuffing myself beyond food coma)-- 75% of anytime I eat, I feel bad about what I'm eating. I'm never comfortable eating, even though the food might be good. I want to be able to enjoy food again and not have to ALWAYS berate myself about it!
Goal #3: Stop putting myself and my body down at every opportunity.
Body image issues... everywhere I turn! I need to look at those negative influences and shrug my shoulders and remind myself that I don't look bad and am working on looking better. Having the reminder that I'M WORKING ON IT has helped in the past... seeing a cute 2-piece bathing suit and nodding my head and saying, "I'm not there yet, but I will be"-- ah, I like that feeling. Its not self defeating and its empowering: I can't have it yet, but I'm on my way. This also includes joining with others who talk about their flaws and their issues with their own weight. It's so easy to fall into that trap and I need to put my foot down and recognize when I'm falling into those bad habits again.
LONG TERM GOAL: Become a comfortable, slightly loose size 8 in 6 months and feel happier in my own skin!
Speaks for itself! My issue with myself lies in not being able to wear what I want to wear-- especially being the street fashion enthusiast I am! The images of beautiful models on runways or in magazine ads don't bother me-- not even the revealing clothing they wear. It's that I would have a problem finding that item in my size and have it look good on me. I don't get envious of them, want to become them, none of that. I just want to be able to find it for myself and for me!
As for now, I'm back at the 135ish lbs but I would like to really get back on the ball again. I see a coworker of mine working out 5 times a week since New Years and she's lost at least 15lbs. My boyfriend who lives out of town noticed a huge difference in her- everyone does! She's an inspiration! But for me, it's not the weight anymore. Its the fact that I'm wearing a size 10 and its tight. And needlessly said, it makes me feel bad.
I watched Sex and the City (the first movie) not too long ago and there's a scene where Samantha is shamed about the emotional weight she's gaining and how a tiny, tiny little gut is showing when she visits her friends. This wasn't the first time I saw this movie... but in this particular instance it kind of got to me on two different levels.
1: I wish I had friends who would pull me aside and tell me when I'm looking bad weight-size! Not in a harsh way, of course, but just like, "maybe we should start going to the gym together", etc.
2: What a bad way to treat body image. As soon as NOTHING of a gut shows... "you need to lose weight!"
Either way, I'm well aware of how those two points contradict each other, but there is some truth and valid reasoning behind both. Its all valid in degrees.
Anyway, I've decided to try a new approach and begin blogging again about my weight issues-- and maybe more importantly, SIZE issues. I think I need a revamped perspective on why I think I should lose weight, how I need to lose weight, and why "weight" is a bad term in this entire thing.
[I recently watched a very inspirational video on the dangers of Fat Talk and this falls right into this entire blog~!]
But yes, healthier goals are my new inspiration and I'm vowing to stick to them, one day at a time. Breaking this all down to more manageable goals will help me think and feel better and really change my life!
Goal #1: Become a comfortable, slightly loose size 10 in 3 months.
This is a biggie. I have tons of beautiful clothes that I would love to wear if they weren't so snug! I bought them at various stages... when I was a size 10, when a size 10 wasn't that snug on me, when the item was beautiful and I couldn't pass it up so lemme squeeze into it... I hate this feeling. I want to wear what I own and not just resort to the things in my closet that hide my gut! Plus, it's even just a shopping convenience. Size 10 is still relatively easy to find in stores-- size 12 in stores is definitely not guaranteed.
Goal #2: Stop feeling bad about everything I eat!
Huuuugggeeeeee issue. Everytime I eat something, I can never fully enjoy what it is I consume for fear about the food and fear about what it's going to do to me, even if I know I should enjoy it. Putting aside portion control (I admit I really haven't ever had issues of stuffing myself beyond food coma)-- 75% of anytime I eat, I feel bad about what I'm eating. I'm never comfortable eating, even though the food might be good. I want to be able to enjoy food again and not have to ALWAYS berate myself about it!
Goal #3: Stop putting myself and my body down at every opportunity.
Body image issues... everywhere I turn! I need to look at those negative influences and shrug my shoulders and remind myself that I don't look bad and am working on looking better. Having the reminder that I'M WORKING ON IT has helped in the past... seeing a cute 2-piece bathing suit and nodding my head and saying, "I'm not there yet, but I will be"-- ah, I like that feeling. Its not self defeating and its empowering: I can't have it yet, but I'm on my way. This also includes joining with others who talk about their flaws and their issues with their own weight. It's so easy to fall into that trap and I need to put my foot down and recognize when I'm falling into those bad habits again.
LONG TERM GOAL: Become a comfortable, slightly loose size 8 in 6 months and feel happier in my own skin!
Speaks for itself! My issue with myself lies in not being able to wear what I want to wear-- especially being the street fashion enthusiast I am! The images of beautiful models on runways or in magazine ads don't bother me-- not even the revealing clothing they wear. It's that I would have a problem finding that item in my size and have it look good on me. I don't get envious of them, want to become them, none of that. I just want to be able to find it for myself and for me!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Day Four
Ah- all ready day 4? Wow. Either way, I don't think today was a very good day for me for the main reason of my 12pm meal time. All was going really well up to that point, especially with me being in school. Had my drinks and powders ready for consumption and when it was time, I marched my butt down to the school cafeteria, filled up my little thermos cup with boiling water for my tea, and took everything in my classes ((I ignored all the weird looks from people as they saw me shaking up my beverages in different water bottles)).
But yes, lunch time rolls around. At school they have NAKED drinks and I figured I'd just buy a carrot juice bottle since I'd be in school for 6+ hours straight and I kind of wanted to vary up the entire green drink + green drink + green drink thing that would happen if I didn't have a juice thrown in at noon. I get into the cafeteria to buy my carrot juice and alas... no carrot juice. Just fruit juices and I was stuck. My stomach was telling me it was time to drink something- ANYTHING- and I ended up getting one of the NAKED juices, trying to make sure that there was at least a bunch of green-stuff in it. ((And yes, I did check for other alternatives before settling with a slight amount of fear.)) Green Machine and it was... disgusting. I mean, usually I love these sorts of drinks, but one sip and my first thought was "OMG IT'S TOO FUCKING SWEET."
I drank down about 1/2 - 3/4 of it and ended up giving the rest of it to a classmate. It felt like nasty sugar goo going down my throat and I had a headache for a good 20 minutes or so afterwards. I can't help but think of the gagging feeling I had drinking it! And as I said before, I LOVE those sorts of drinks so... I guess my body is making the change?
Also, I didn't walk today. I really need to get on my own case about that-- I'm not scheduling that in and I know it's gonna bite me in the ass if I don't make it regular.
For dinner I boiled up a small head of cabbage, a couple carrots, a couple ears of corn, and a potato. Needed more spices ((I need ideas, man!)), but besides the lack of an overtly different flavor, it tasted sweet but delicious. I actually finished my entire cup this time ((most of the time I just finish about 3/4 or so...)).
On another note as I prepare to go to bed, yoga is feeling wonderful and my aloe vera juice is interesting. It has a sharp smell to it akin to rubbing alcohol, but isn't that gross to me, I just have to drink it quickly or the taste gets old.
Hmph... may have to invest in some laxative tea or something :/ And before I forget, this morning was wonderful for me since I got up without a single hesitation, before my alarm even went off!
4/21!
But yes, lunch time rolls around. At school they have NAKED drinks and I figured I'd just buy a carrot juice bottle since I'd be in school for 6+ hours straight and I kind of wanted to vary up the entire green drink + green drink + green drink thing that would happen if I didn't have a juice thrown in at noon. I get into the cafeteria to buy my carrot juice and alas... no carrot juice. Just fruit juices and I was stuck. My stomach was telling me it was time to drink something- ANYTHING- and I ended up getting one of the NAKED juices, trying to make sure that there was at least a bunch of green-stuff in it. ((And yes, I did check for other alternatives before settling with a slight amount of fear.)) Green Machine and it was... disgusting. I mean, usually I love these sorts of drinks, but one sip and my first thought was "OMG IT'S TOO FUCKING SWEET."
I drank down about 1/2 - 3/4 of it and ended up giving the rest of it to a classmate. It felt like nasty sugar goo going down my throat and I had a headache for a good 20 minutes or so afterwards. I can't help but think of the gagging feeling I had drinking it! And as I said before, I LOVE those sorts of drinks so... I guess my body is making the change?
Also, I didn't walk today. I really need to get on my own case about that-- I'm not scheduling that in and I know it's gonna bite me in the ass if I don't make it regular.
For dinner I boiled up a small head of cabbage, a couple carrots, a couple ears of corn, and a potato. Needed more spices ((I need ideas, man!)), but besides the lack of an overtly different flavor, it tasted sweet but delicious. I actually finished my entire cup this time ((most of the time I just finish about 3/4 or so...)).
On another note as I prepare to go to bed, yoga is feeling wonderful and my aloe vera juice is interesting. It has a sharp smell to it akin to rubbing alcohol, but isn't that gross to me, I just have to drink it quickly or the taste gets old.
Hmph... may have to invest in some laxative tea or something :/ And before I forget, this morning was wonderful for me since I got up without a single hesitation, before my alarm even went off!
4/21!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Day Three
I'm starving right now but I'm not particularly craving anything. I think its mostly because I didn't finish everything I was supposed to have for dinner. At least I didn't have that dreadful vomiting feeling this morning after my first drinks. I think it mostly was because I spread out everything over an hour-- which I've started to do with all things. Taking my time and consuming things within an hour ((i.e. 2.30 meal is from 2- 3pm)). It seems to keep most of the hunger pangs away.
Anything else I want to write about...?? Just that I REALLY need to come up with soup recipes. The one I had today wasn't disgusting, it just didn't taste like anything, and I loaded it with garlic. Maybe I should look into marinating veggies and using those. I've gotta be creative, I think. To some extent, I'm glad I have enough flavor and cooking sense to know what vegetable combinations go well together to not make things taste gross. Now to start messing around with spices.
3/21!
Anything else I want to write about...?? Just that I REALLY need to come up with soup recipes. The one I had today wasn't disgusting, it just didn't taste like anything, and I loaded it with garlic. Maybe I should look into marinating veggies and using those. I've gotta be creative, I think. To some extent, I'm glad I have enough flavor and cooking sense to know what vegetable combinations go well together to not make things taste gross. Now to start messing around with spices.
3/21!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Day Two
Today was sort of weird for me because of work and the fact that I had to cut corners. I started drinking everything around 8am, kept up with everything ((sans herbal cleansing formula :/ )). Interestingly or not, after taking my first drink, the vomiting feeling came around again which was a bit worrisome. I had made sure to drink things slowly, too. After burping it went away, though.
I had to open at work at 4.30am, so by the time I got home, I was completely exhausted. Lack of energy from the diet? I don't think so; I just didn't really sleep that much the night before.
Either way, as soon as I got home, I slept, which end up being a "bad idea" because I completely missed a BerrySplash intake time. I got up with enough time to blend up another cup of my potato mix of yesterday and the rest of everything else. I was still groggy so no walk today.
The rest of the week should be ok for me, though. I'm going to school during the day and things are pretty steady with that.
As for hunger pangs and what not... I'm not hungry as much as I just want to chew something delicious. Definitely craving some meat and banana walnut coffee cake-- it's making my mouth water like mad! It didn't help one bit being at work and having to set up the pastry case... handling so many pastries. But I resisted temptation and didn't stick a single piece of pastry in my mouth.
Changes I notice... my nails are really hard now. Now to get some aloe vera juice and bed. I have yoga class tomorrow morning.
I had to open at work at 4.30am, so by the time I got home, I was completely exhausted. Lack of energy from the diet? I don't think so; I just didn't really sleep that much the night before.
Either way, as soon as I got home, I slept, which end up being a "bad idea" because I completely missed a BerrySplash intake time. I got up with enough time to blend up another cup of my potato mix of yesterday and the rest of everything else. I was still groggy so no walk today.
The rest of the week should be ok for me, though. I'm going to school during the day and things are pretty steady with that.
As for hunger pangs and what not... I'm not hungry as much as I just want to chew something delicious. Definitely craving some meat and banana walnut coffee cake-- it's making my mouth water like mad! It didn't help one bit being at work and having to set up the pastry case... handling so many pastries. But I resisted temptation and didn't stick a single piece of pastry in my mouth.
Changes I notice... my nails are really hard now. Now to get some aloe vera juice and bed. I have yoga class tomorrow morning.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Day One
...has been pretty interesting. I really don't know where to start in all of this!
I woke up at around 8am-- surprising after closing last night and not getting home until around 2am. The first set of drinks left me with a horrible stomach ache... I think it was because I drank them much too quickly. By the time I burped a few times the vomiting feeling went away, so I'm convinced that's what it was!
Either way, continued drinking everything I needed to on time. Considering I don't normally eat breakfast--- all I do is drink water, I didn't really have any hunger pangs. However, around my usual "lunch time"/snack time, I had the munchies. I wasn't HUNGRY- I just wanted to eat something. Kind of making my usual eating habits obvious to me.
For my juice I juiced up a couple carrots and half of a large cucumber. The initial taste was a bit bizarre, but by the end of it, I didn't think it was half bad. Also, if the taste ever got too strong, I just alternated juice and water sips.
The dinner soup was interesting... I started boiling up some different colored potatoes ((I wasn't aware there was a purple potato!--- its purple inside, too)) a few hours before my scheduled soup time, adding a few basil leaves and oregano. I also added the left over carrot pieces that the juicer throws out ((basically shredded carrot)), a full zucchini, and a 3rd of an onion. In the book, it says that our pureed soup isn't supposed to be consumed until around 6pm, but at home we usually eat around 4, no later than about 5pm-- so actually having my "meal" later was a bit of an issue for me. I ended up drinking about 3 cups of the broth just to hold back the hunger pangs and by the time 6pm came around, I reluctantly drank down the puree. It wasn't bad tasting... it just was that I wasn't that hungry anymore.
I missed my cup of tea during that time since right after I downed my puree, I went for a walk. The walk was sort of nice-- I didn't realize how big the park near my house is. I don't know how far I walked, but I figure it must have been over a mile. I read somewhere that a mile is about how much you walk in 20min- 30min at a leisurely pace. I walked over 30min pretty quickly, so maybe a mile and a half?
Either way, I got back home and drank another cup of tea, this time with Stevia which is actually more delicious than I thought it might be! I figured it'd be like Raw Sugar but no- tastes sort of like Equal/Sweet and Low and I can't help but be afraid there might be a catch, but I guess there really isn't one!
I think over the course of the day, I've been to the bathroom about 7 or 8 times, all the times my urine getting lighter and lighter. This last time I've gone, my urine was virtually clear. I know I went--- A LOT--- and when I got up, the sight of it was a little startling.
I haven't taken any herbal cleansing pills because I got the wrong ones from the store the other day... tomorrow I'm going to exchange them for the ones I think will work. Also, I have a bunch of leftovers from today's soup so I put it all inside the fridge and will have to use them up tomorrow as best I can. I may boil up an ear of corn to make up for my lack of broth for tomorrow and then blend in the corn pieces with the veggies I have left over.
Tomorrow will be a test to see how well I can do this detox outside of home. I have to work from 4.30am- 11.45am... I'll have to take all my powders and have them at the ready at work. I guess to some extent, I should be glad I work at Starbucks--- free teas and water and maybe it'll be ok. At the same time, leaving my post because I have to run to the bathroom is going to be a hassle, as well as the fact that we have a drive thru and stopping to mix a drink may be an issue.
Sooooooo~!
1/ 21!
((oh, and I'm only going to weigh and measure myself once a week))
I woke up at around 8am-- surprising after closing last night and not getting home until around 2am. The first set of drinks left me with a horrible stomach ache... I think it was because I drank them much too quickly. By the time I burped a few times the vomiting feeling went away, so I'm convinced that's what it was!
Either way, continued drinking everything I needed to on time. Considering I don't normally eat breakfast--- all I do is drink water, I didn't really have any hunger pangs. However, around my usual "lunch time"/snack time, I had the munchies. I wasn't HUNGRY- I just wanted to eat something. Kind of making my usual eating habits obvious to me.
For my juice I juiced up a couple carrots and half of a large cucumber. The initial taste was a bit bizarre, but by the end of it, I didn't think it was half bad. Also, if the taste ever got too strong, I just alternated juice and water sips.
The dinner soup was interesting... I started boiling up some different colored potatoes ((I wasn't aware there was a purple potato!--- its purple inside, too)) a few hours before my scheduled soup time, adding a few basil leaves and oregano. I also added the left over carrot pieces that the juicer throws out ((basically shredded carrot)), a full zucchini, and a 3rd of an onion. In the book, it says that our pureed soup isn't supposed to be consumed until around 6pm, but at home we usually eat around 4, no later than about 5pm-- so actually having my "meal" later was a bit of an issue for me. I ended up drinking about 3 cups of the broth just to hold back the hunger pangs and by the time 6pm came around, I reluctantly drank down the puree. It wasn't bad tasting... it just was that I wasn't that hungry anymore.
I missed my cup of tea during that time since right after I downed my puree, I went for a walk. The walk was sort of nice-- I didn't realize how big the park near my house is. I don't know how far I walked, but I figure it must have been over a mile. I read somewhere that a mile is about how much you walk in 20min- 30min at a leisurely pace. I walked over 30min pretty quickly, so maybe a mile and a half?
Either way, I got back home and drank another cup of tea, this time with Stevia which is actually more delicious than I thought it might be! I figured it'd be like Raw Sugar but no- tastes sort of like Equal/Sweet and Low and I can't help but be afraid there might be a catch, but I guess there really isn't one!
I think over the course of the day, I've been to the bathroom about 7 or 8 times, all the times my urine getting lighter and lighter. This last time I've gone, my urine was virtually clear. I know I went--- A LOT--- and when I got up, the sight of it was a little startling.
I haven't taken any herbal cleansing pills because I got the wrong ones from the store the other day... tomorrow I'm going to exchange them for the ones I think will work. Also, I have a bunch of leftovers from today's soup so I put it all inside the fridge and will have to use them up tomorrow as best I can. I may boil up an ear of corn to make up for my lack of broth for tomorrow and then blend in the corn pieces with the veggies I have left over.
Tomorrow will be a test to see how well I can do this detox outside of home. I have to work from 4.30am- 11.45am... I'll have to take all my powders and have them at the ready at work. I guess to some extent, I should be glad I work at Starbucks--- free teas and water and maybe it'll be ok. At the same time, leaving my post because I have to run to the bathroom is going to be a hassle, as well as the fact that we have a drive thru and stopping to mix a drink may be an issue.
Sooooooo~!
1/ 21!
((oh, and I'm only going to weigh and measure myself once a week))
Thursday, October 4, 2007
So while I haven't been updating, there has been progress. To some extent.
I found out yesterday that my mother can't help me buy half of the things I'm going to need for the detox... which is a little crippling. Not a little. Substantially crippling. Though my sister is going to send me money ((for other reasons)), I'll probably use that money for the supplements I'll need.
Tomorrow all the shopping'll get done.
I'm nervous--- not so much for what will be happening to my body, but whether or not I can afford everything I need!
And my current amendments to the detox... instead of distilled water, I'll be drinking Smart Water ((delicious mineral water)) exclusively. Consistency will help, right? Also, I can't afford colonics, so I'll probably take the Level 5 laxative only twice... I'm not going to even attempt the coffee enema--- I don't think I need to go that far!
I found out yesterday that my mother can't help me buy half of the things I'm going to need for the detox... which is a little crippling. Not a little. Substantially crippling. Though my sister is going to send me money ((for other reasons)), I'll probably use that money for the supplements I'll need.
Tomorrow all the shopping'll get done.
I'm nervous--- not so much for what will be happening to my body, but whether or not I can afford everything I need!
And my current amendments to the detox... instead of distilled water, I'll be drinking Smart Water ((delicious mineral water)) exclusively. Consistency will help, right? Also, I can't afford colonics, so I'll probably take the Level 5 laxative only twice... I'm not going to even attempt the coffee enema--- I don't think I need to go that far!
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